What Are Feelings, and How Are They Different From Emotions?

Throughout my professional career, my comprehension of emotions has greatly developed—and it still does. Initially, as a clinical counselor, I thought my duty was to assist individuals in feeling "better." This involved promoting positive emotions and removing negative ones.

Looking back, I realize how misguided that view was. Today, I see feelings not as "good" or "bad," but as valid and necessary. Over time, I’ve come to appreciate feelings so deeply that I now think of them as my friends, allies, and sometimes even partners in crime.

My hope is to help those of you who feel victimized by your feelings reclaim your power. The internal struggle many of us face with our emotions doesn’t have to be a war. By shifting our perspective, we can develop a healthier relationship with our feelings.

That said, I am not claiming to be the definitive expert. My approach might not work for everyone—and that’s okay. It’s not a reflection of something being “wrong” with you; it simply means there’s another path better suited for you. Trust that there are many ways to achieve emotional harmony.

So, What Are Feelings and Emotions?

In my experience, feelings and emotions are distinct yet interconnected. Feelings are physical sensations in the body. They are the tangible signals we experience—comfortable or uncomfortable, pleasant or unpleasant. Think of them as a scale with many shades in between.

Emotions, on the other hand, are the names or labels we assign to these feelings. They are our interpretations, the way we make sense of what our body communicates to us. Emotional literacy—the ability to identify and name emotions—is key to understanding them.

A Common Misstep: Misinterpreting Feelings

One of the challenges I’ve observed, both in my clients and myself, is our tendency to misinterpret feelings. We often assign meanings to physical sensations based on immediate impressions, which can lead to distorted perceptions of reality.

Let me illustrate with a personal example:

I’m sitting in the waiting room of a private practice where I’ve applied for a job. My body starts reacting—I’m shaking, sweating, my heart races, and my breathing becomes shallow. It’s deeply uncomfortable.

At this moment, I have a choice:

Reacting to the Fear

I could assume these sensations mean I’m going to fail the interview, embarrass myself, or prove I’m not competent. This interpretation could lead me to leave the interview entirely or approach it with a defeated demeanor, increasing the likelihood of a poor outcome. This is a classic example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Reframing and Responding with Awareness

Alternatively, I can pause and check in with myself. My body is sending me signals—it’s trying to communicate. I acknowledge that my physical sensations make sense because I’m about to do something important. I validate my feelings: Of course, I feel this way. This is my body preparing me for a challenge.

By accepting and normalizing these feelings, I lower my resistance to them. I remind myself that my body is doing its job, getting me ready for action. I thank it for its efforts.

Then, I focus on what’s within my control: I take a deep breath, drink some water, ensure I have my resume, and check my appearance in the mirror. I remind myself that all I can do is try my best and that the outcome is partly out of my hands.

Embracing Your Feelings

The key is not to eliminate or suppress feelings but to listen to them and understand what they’re trying to tell us. When we stop seeing feelings as enemies and start viewing them as allies, they become more manageable.

By cultivating curiosity and self-compassion, we can work with our feelings rather than against them. This shift doesn’t just improve our relationship with our emotions—it helps us approach life’s challenges with greater clarity and confidence.